


25

by soccerball17



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-11 08:13:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5619829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soccerball17/pseuds/soccerball17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One shot stories that go together based on Adele's 25 songs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All I Ask

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I had this idea in my head for a while now and I just wrote this. My goal is to make a few one shots linked together based on Adele's songs in the meantime I come up with something new. 
> 
> Hope you like it.
> 
> Should i go on?

All I Ask 

(Based on Adele’s song from 25)

 

It was late afternoon Tobin stood outside Alex’s room, door closed, deciding if she should knock. 

 

The last couple of weeks had been rough, after Alex told Tobin about her being traded to Orlando, the pair got into a huge conflict. 

 

_ What?! And you couldn’t tell me this before. Come on Alex, I thought you were better than that. - Tobin said.  _

 

_ Tobin, I’m sorry, it’s just something I have to do. - Alex replied.  _

 

_ That’s the issue, you are always the one that does something. He doesn’t deserve you… - Tobin responded.  _

 

_ And you do? - Alex asked.  _

 

_ “Yes, god damn it! I mean I don’t know if I deserve you, but I want you to let me try Alex. These games we’ve been playing around are not games for me anymore.” - Tobin shouted.  _

 

_ Tobin remembered all those times, which the line between best friends and something else didn’t exist with Alex.  _

 

_ “Tobin, you know I love you. You are my best friend…”- Alex stated.  _

 

_ “Yeah, but that is not enough for me. I thought it wasn’t enough for you too, I see it clearly now… I was just something you used for your loneliness. Let me tell you something, all those touches, all those kisses, all those nights, your chest against mine… all of that was real for me Alex. It hurts that you didn’t even mention your trade, you didn’t let me fight for you… you made your decision and sadly I was never in the picture. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore.” - Tobin let out between sobs.  _

 

_ “Tobin…” - Alex whispered, with tears in her eyes. _

 

_ Tobin just turned around and locked herself in her room.  _

 

Ever since that moment Tobin had been avoiding Alex was much as she could. When Allie brought some boxes Tobin realized how real was the fact that she lost Alex. 

 

Alex had been packing for the past week, Allie and a couple of other Thorn’s teammates helped her get ready. They were all happy for her and the chance she got to not only be in the same city as her husband, but be the face of a new team, oblivious to Tobin and Alex’s relationship. 

 

Tobin didn’t help at all, she had excuse after excuse and was out the door every time they started packing. Alex felt a sharp pain every time she saw Tobin go out and ignore her. 

 

Today, was Alex’s last night in Portland and Tobin knew she couldn’t let her go like that.

 

Taking a huge sigh, Tobin finally knocked on Alex’s room door. 

 

“Come in!” - Alex shouted, from inside the room. 

 

Tobin slowly opened the door and approach the forward who was busy closing one of the boxes that were in the room. 

 

“Alex…” - Tobin whispered. 

 

Alex immediately stopped what she was doing and turned around to look straight at the midfielder who was looking at the floor. 

 

“What do you want Tobin?” - Alex asked, a little rough. 

 

“You, please. I promise I will leave my heart at the door, I won’t say a word….They’ve all been said before. I want you to just pretend that you are not going, pretend that you care, pretend that we are not scared of what is coming next…” - Tobin answered. 

 

“Why Tobin?” - Alex questioned, she now stood right in front of Tobin. 

 

Tobin looked straight into Alex’s blue eyes, she was trying to keep it together. 

 

“I’m scared of having nothing left! Look, don’t get me wrong. I know there is no tomorrow and I can’t do anything to change that. All I ask is if this is my last night with you, just hold me like I’m more than just a friend. I don’t want to end things badly, please give me a memory I can use. Because to me, it matters how this ends…” - Tobin stated. 

 

Alex just stood there looking at Tobin pour her heart out. 

 

“Cause what if i never love again?” - Tobin added, tears in her eyes. 

 

After those last words, Alex approached Tobin and grabbed her face. 

 

“Listen to me Tobin Heath, you are an amazing human being and I love you. You will love again and I’ll always be your best friend no matter what.” - Alex stated, closing the space between them. 

 

Tobin felt Alex’s lips on her own and relaxed, this was exactly what she needed even if this was the last time. 

 

When they parted to take a breathe, Tobin stared directly at Alex’s eyes. She knew the girl loved her, but still she was leaving, she made a choice and it wasn’t her. 

 

“I don’t need your honesty, it’s already in your eyes. It hurts Alex, because I’m not only losing this...I’m also losing my best friend. No one knows me like you do and since you’re the only one that matters. Tell me who do I run to?” - Tobin asked. 

 

“Tobin, I’ll always be there for you. I’m sorry I had to do this, I’m hurting too. i know you said we are done and you are right. I’m selfish because after all I still want you, but that is not fair to you, I don’t deserve you. I don’t want to lose my best friend.” - Alex answered. 

 

“I don’t want to speak anymore, please let me in, just tonight. Please let me show you how much you mean to me one last time before everything changes, before I’m heartbroken.” - Tobin pleaded. 

 

Alex caressed Tobin face and give her another gentle kiss. Then she took Tobin by her hand and led her to the midfielder’s room. 

 

Once inside, Alex turned around and closed the door, but before she could turn around, she felt Tobin’s arms around her. 

 

Tobin placed small kisses to Alex’s neck before turning her around and pinning her against the door. With one look into Alex’s eyes for confirmation, Tobin kissed her with all the passion she had. 

 

Alex returned the kiss with the same passion soon both their clothes were on the floor. 

 

Tobin carried Alex to her bed and gently placed her down. She then proceeds to kiss her body, she let a kiss anywhere... everywhere... Tobin knew she had to make the most out of this last night. 

 

Meanwhile, Alex kept looking at Tobin. The sensation she felt with every kiss was overwhelming, making her mind be all over the place.  _ God, I love you Tobin. Servando’s lips doesn’t taste or feel like this. Did I mess up?  _ Alex thought. 

  
  


Tobin noticed Alex was thinking hard about everything and she wants the forward to let go. 

 

“Hey, don’t think about it. Let this be our lesson in love. Let this be the way we remember us…” - Tobin said. 

 

“You are right, Tobin. I’m thinking way too much, what’s done is done. The decision is made, I don’t want to be cruel or vicious and I ain’t asking for forgiveness. All I ask is that we enjoy this night and that we do what lovers do… please take me Tobin.” - Alex pleaded. 

 

“I love you, no more speaking.” - Tobin stated. 

 

“I love you too.” - Alex responded, before giving it her all to Tobin. 

 

A few rounds after, Tobin realized that there was some speaking, but it consisted of moans and shouting each other names. 

 

Alex had her head on Tobin’s chest while the midfielder holds her tight, she carefully listen to Tobin’s heart beat. 

 

“Thank you for today.” - Tobin whispered. 

 

“Tobin it’s me who should be thanking you.” - Alex replied. 

 

“It’s been hard for me, I don’t know what I am going to do without you. That is beyond my control, that is why I decided to come to you one last time because as I said before...it matters to me how this ends.” - Tobin let out. 

 

“It’s hard for me too, and I hope, maybe later you understand the reason why. I need to give my marriage a chance, I don’t want to be a cheater, you don’t deserve this… you deserve a full on open relationship Tobin. It’s not fair to either of you and I’m selfish because I made a decision without consulting anyone, I need to figure things out on my own.” - Alex replied. 

 

“I know Alex, just please give me time to take this all in.” - Tobin said. 

 

“Of course Tobin, I still want to be your best friend.” - Alex responded. 

 

“Thank you baby horse.” - Tobin answered. 

 

“Thank you Tobs.” - Alex whispered, before drifting away. 

 

***

 

Alex stirred a little bit and finally opened her eyes when she saw the first rays of the run come through Tobin’s window. She turned around and saw Tobin fast asleep with her arms still around her. 

 

The forward stayed there looking at her lover for a short time thinking, there was one thing Tobin said that kept running through Alex’s mind. 

 

_ What if I never love again?... Anyone will be lucky to have you Tobin, but that’s the thing I don’t want you to love again. I want you to love me, just me, you are my everything, I really love you, but I need to make this right.  _ Alex thought. 

 

Seeing Tobin so open and vulnerable last night and now really made Alex think about everything. She couldn’t bear the thought of someone else receiving Tobin’s kisses, touches, love… but she knew it was too late. Everything was set and done, Alex was kicking herself for letting others influence her decision, telling her that as the face of US Soccer she needed to be with a guy and be the head of a new franchise. 

 

Alex was still lost in her thoughts when she felt Tobin move. 

 

“Hey, good morning beautiful.” - Tobin whispered. 

 

Alex placed a gentle kiss on sleepy Tobin’s forehead. 

 

“Morning babe, it’s time.” - Alex replied, with sadness in her raspy voice. 

 

A soon as those words were said, Tobin hopped out of bed and got dressed. 

 

“Here, let me help you with everything that is left.” - Tobin said, giving Alex her clothes back. 

 

Without another word, Alex stood up and got everything ready with the help of Tobin. Allie joined them once she was awake. 

 

Soon everything was ready in the moving truck, ready to part of Orlando. 

 

After the truck left, Allie and Alex started putting all that going to Cali in Alex’s car. The girls agreed to drive to Cali and leave some stuff there along with the car, then Alex was going to catch a flight to Orlando. 

 

“Tobin, everything is ready, we are just waiting for you. Allie is already in the car.” - Alex shouted. 

 

Tobin was sitting on her bed, her duffle bag empty. She couldn’t pack, she knew she was not strong enough to drive back to California with them without her heart breaking more. She remembered a quote from John Green’s Looking for Alaska book…

 

_ At some point, you just pull off the Band-Aid, and it hurts, but then it’s over and you’re relieved.  _

 

Alex entered the room and saw Tobin staring into nothing with tears in her eyes, she noticed the empty duffle bag and realized that Tobin was not coming. 

 

“I understand, thank you for last night Tobs. Remember, I’m here if you need your best friend.” - Alex stated. 

 

“I miss you already Alex, thank you for this time in Portland. Go, I’m sure this new journey will be amazing for you. I love you.” - Tobin replied. 

 

“I love you too Tobin.” - Alex said, no more words needed. 

 

Both girls embraced each other, Alex placed a small kiss to Tobin’s lips and made her way out. 

 

Tobin followed and stood by the door, she saw how Alex got into the car and drive off. As soon as the car was out of view, Tobin broke down…  _ Will I ever love someone like that again? Is it worth it?  _ Tobin thought, feeling more alone than ever. 

  
  
_To be continued...._  
  
  
  
  



	2. Send My Love (To Your New Lover)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it! Things will be better after this one :)

Send My Love (To Your New Lover)

 

“Kelley...Kelley…….. Kelley!” - Tobin shouted, trying to get her roommate’s attention. 

 

“What Tobin? Geez, I can’t disappear to the bathroom for 2 minutes.” - Kelley replied. 

 

“Sorry, I just need to get out of here. i feel like I’m drowning and I just need to...stop thinking.” - Tobin let out.

 

Kelley got off to the bathroom to look straight at her friend, she was the only one that knew all the hurt and the pain her friend was going through. 

 

For Tobin, ever since that night that Alex left Portland three months ago her emotions were all over the place. There were times in which she missed the forward and some others in which she hated her, well not really her but the situation.

 

When Kelley looked at Tobin, she noticed how heartbroken she was at the moment. It was not easy for her, especially right now when they just played a friendly in Orlando. 

 

“Hey...you alright?” - Kelley asked. 

 

“Yeah, I just need some air. I was thinking… Why don’t we go ahead to the bar like right now and wait for the rest of the girls there. I just need a drink and I want to without..” - Tobin said, she didn’t want to say Alex. 

 

Kelley, understood exactly what Tobin was trying to say and she wanted to be there for her friend. 

 

“Yeah, how about we head out in about 20 min. That way we’ll be there almost an hour and a half before the hour Syd set to meet.” - Kelley offered. 

 

“Yes, that will be perfect. Thank you, Kelley, for everything. You can tell Hope so she can come with us early.” - Tobin responded. 

 

“Awesome, let me call her. Start getting ready.” - Kelley ordered. 

 

20 minutes later…

 

Tobin, Kelley and Hope arrived at the bar and went to the ‘Reserved’ table designated for them. 

 

“What can I bring for you ladies?” - The waitress asked the trio. 

 

“Three PBRs and Jagger bombs.” - Kelley said. 

 

“Kelley!” - Tobin yelled. 

 

“Hey, you need it and it’s okay. We are having fun tonight.” - Hope added. 

 

When the drinks arrived, Tobin quickly downed her Jagger bomb, then took her time with the beer. 

 

All those feelings that made her numb and sad were still there, but she wanted to push them aside just for a few hours and thankfully her teammates company was helping her do just that. 

 

After three more rounds, the girls were clearly tipsy. Tobin was feeling amazing, the buzz definitely made her forget about the huge pain in her chest she had for three months. This was exactly what she wanted. 

 

Tobin was laughing hysterically at something that Kelley just said, when the rest of the girls arrived. 

 

_ Shit… Well, thank god I have a few shots at me.  _ Tobin thought.

 

******

 

Alex was having a rough day, even though it started great since she managed to score with an assist from Tobin. They even celebrated together as always but when they pulled apart, Alex noticed the sadness in Tobin’s eyes. 

 

Tobin seemed to realize too, and just ran back to her position without a word. 

 

Since then Alex has tried to get a hold of the midfielder but it was clear that she was avoiding her. 

 

Alex stood in front of Kelley and Tobin’s hotel room waiting for someone to open the door. 

 

“They are not there.” - Ash said, as soon as she noticed Alex knocking. 

 

“Where are they? I wanted to talk to Tobin.” - Alex asked. 

 

“Don’t know, I went out for a coffee with Ali and when we got back here we saw them walking out the hotel.” - Ash let out. 

 

“How are you holding up? Want to talk about it?” - Ash offered, when she noticed Alex’s sad expression. 

 

Alex nodded, both girls went back to their room to talk. 

 

“Okay, well, Tobin and I…” - Alex started, she explained everything in detail to Ash, who she considered a great friend and an ally especially now since they will both play for Orlando. 

 

“Wow, Alex, that is just so complicated...How do you feel now?” - Ash asked. 

 

“Bad, I don’t even know if it was worth it or if I made the right decision. Every night i think about her Ash, it’s suffocating. I’ve been avoiding Servs touches because they don’t feel right, but i have to try and save my marriage. The league hasn’t even started for crying out loud.” - Alex let out, frustrated. 

 

“Do you want my opinion? I think your heart is trying to tell something but you don't rush into it. Take your time, make sure what you want.” - Ash said. 

 

“You are right, it’s just hard being around her and not even talk. The worse part is that I can see it in her eyes, the hurt, the pain...and I know it’s my fault, I’m a horrible person.” - Alex explained. 

 

“No you are not, you are someone who is dealing with a complicated situation. Alex, your eyes match hers, you are hurting too. You just need to figure this out and let yourself be happy.” - Ash replied. 

 

“You are right, let’s get ready and have a great night!” - Alex shouted.

 

An hour later, Alex was with the rest of the girls in the lobby. As soon as they realized that Tobin, Kelley and Hope were not with the group her sadness was evident.

 

“They are already at the bar.” - Lauren added, even though Tobin had not explained everything in detail she knew something was going on and she didn’t want to see neither of them hurting. 

  
  


“Thanks Cheney.” - Alex replied. 

 

“Is Serv coming?” - Lauren asked, curious and protective. 

 

“No, I told him I wanted to go out with the gals alone. Kinda of like a ladies night.” - Alex answered. 

 

“Awesome, Baby Horse, now let’s get wasted.” - Lauren added. 

 

* * *

Alex noticed Tobin right away, she had on some black skinny jeans with a white tight V neck and her PDX snapback. 

 

_ Damn you Tobin, always so sexy.  _ Alex thought. 

 

Tobin quickly stood up to greet the rest of the gals almost loosing her balance in the process. 

 

“Wow, hey there Tobs. You alright?” - Lauren asked. 

 

“Hell yeah yo, here sit.” - Tobin answered. 

 

_ Great tipsy Tobin, is just what I needed.  _ Alex said to herself.

 

After everyone was in place, the girls received a round of shots courtesy of the bar for their World Cup win. 

 

“Let’s dance!”- Kelley shouted, pulling Tobin to the dance floor. 

 

Alex just stayed in her seat watching the two girls dancing around, after a few more rounds some of the gals joined them including Syd and Ali. 

 

“Like the view?” - Ash asked, sitting next to Alex. 

 

“Yeah, i love those dorks.” - Alex answered, pointing to Kelley and Tobin. 

 

Everything was well until Alex saw a pretty blonde girl made her way to the dance floor, determination in her eyes. 

 

Tobin felt a hand on her arm and turned around, expecting to see one of the gals, but it was someone else, a petite girl with blonde hair. 

 

“Hey...I was watching you from our table, I came here with my friends and I wanted to see if we could dance.” - The girl said.

 

“I...don’t kno..” - Tobin said, but was interrupted by the girl pulling her. 

 

Soon Tobin just relaxed and let go as she danced with this girl. 

 

“What’s your name?” - Tobin shouted, the music was too loud. 

 

“Kate. Yours?” - Kate yelled back. 

 

“Tobin.” - Tobin answered.

 

“Cool name.” - Kate replied. 

 

Alex saw the interaction from afar and her blood boiled with anger and jealousy. 

 

“Alex...your jealousy is showing.” - Ash stated. 

 

“Why is she dancing with her? Look the girl has her hands all over Tobin.” - Alex described. 

 

“Alex, unfortunately she can do that if she wants to. There is nothing that prevents her to hook up with someone.” - Ash replied. 

 

Alex felt a huge pain in her chest, she knew Ash was right and she had no right, but she wasn’t strong enough to let this go. She made her way to the dance floor. 

 

Once she approached the pair, she decided to say something… 

 

“Tobin can I speak to you for just a second?” - Alex asked, glaring at the blonde girl. 

 

“Alex, what are you doing?” - Tobin asked back. 

 

“Please…” - Alex pleaded. 

 

“I’ll be right back, Tobin said and the blonde girl placed a kiss on the midfielder's cheek. 

 

This just caused Alex to pull Tobin away from the girl and back to a secluded area at the back of the bar. 

 

“Tobin…Why are you doing that?” - Alex asked. 

 

“What? Having fun?” - Tobin replied, the alcohol making her feel bolder. 

 

“I’ve been trying to talk to you all day and then I find you here dancing with some girl. You know what, go back to her… go send my love to your new lover” - Alex shouted, clearly pissed. 

 

“Hey, this was all you... None of it me. If it were for me, you and I would together.” - Tobin replied. 

 

Alex just stared at Tobin, speechless. 

 

“Yeah, Lex, you told me you were ready, for the big one, for the big jump. That’ll be your last love everlasting…just you and me. Remember? That is what you told me.” - Tobin added. 

  
  
  
  
  


“That is what I want.” - Alex replied. 

 

“Maybe, but it’s not just you and me Alex. It's time...I’m giving you up, I’ve forgiven it all but you set me free. So you send my love to your lover, treat him better. We gotta let off all of our ghosts, we both know we ain’t kids no more.” - Tobin said. 

 

“What does this mean Tobin?” - Alex asked. 

 

“That I want to live my life and stop hurting Alex. Every night when I’m about to call it a day I remember that you are here with him in your bed. I can’t have that haunting me anymore Alex. Don’t you get it? I don’t think you do, but it’s normal, because you were walking when i wasn’t running in our relationship. I tried to make the most out of it because I knew you were not ready for it to be just you and me. And I’m selfish because I rather have you like that, than not have you at all.” - Tobin explained. 

 

“Tobin, I love you.” - Alex let out. 

 

“And I love you too. So if you are ready, i’m ready. We are not kids anymore.” - Tobin said, closing the distance between them. 

 

Tobin looked around and saw that nobody was watching, especially in that dark area. She couldn’t help herself, she reached out kissed Alex. 

 

Alex could taste the alcohol in Tobin’s mouth, but that didn’t matter. The kiss was something she was craved for the past three months so she intensified the kiss and smiled when Tobin replied with the same force. 

 

Once they parted Alex for air, Alex needed to make this right.

 

“Tobin, i’ll be ready…” - Alex whispered, near the midfielder's ear. 

 

Tobin looked straight into Alex’s eyes, getting lost in them for just a second. She smiled and caressed Alex’s cheek, feeling her trembling. 

 

“Then I’ll be ready.” - Tobin replied, connecting their lips once again. 

 

This time, when they ended their passionate kiss, Tobin noticed something from the corner of her eye. She lifted her head and noticed Serv entering the bar. 

 

“Why will you bring him here? I mean… Where is your heart? You know what, don’t answer that. I’m done, send my love to Serv will ya Alexandra.” - Tobin spat out, angry, as she made her way back to the dance floor. 

 

Alex looked at the entrance in shock…  _ I told him not to come.  _ Alex thought. 

 

Tobin approached Kelley and just made a quick sign for her to look towards the entrance. 

 

“Tobin...what? Oh…” - Kelley said. 

 

“I’m getting back to the hotel.” - Tobin yelled. 

 

“I’ll come with you.” - Kelley replied. 

 

“Naaa, it’s okay, you are having fun.” - Tobin responded. 

 

“Tobin, it’s okay, I’ll go back with you.” - Lauren added, she went to find Tobin as soon as she saw Serv and Dom join the gals at the table. 

 

“Okay.” - Tobin whispered, defeated. 

 

“Let’s grab our stuff and head out.” - Lauren instructed. 

 

Lauren and Tobin waved a quick goodbye to everyone, while Alex approached the table. When Tobin noticed Alex making the table, she was ready to bolt, but when she turns around she came face to face with Kate. 

 

“Leaving?” - Kate asked. 

 

“Yeah, not feeling very well.” - Tobin replied. 

 

“Tobin, let’s go.” - Lauren shouted. 

 

Tobin looked at Kate then at Alex, who was staring at them, she needed to leave. 

 

“Gotta go.” - Tobin said. 

 

“Okay, here...it has my number. Call me whenever you are in Orlando, I can be your getaway.” - Kate whispered to Tobin’s ear. 

 

Tobin turned bright red, but grabbed the piece of paper while Kate kissed her cheek again. 

 

“Bye Kate.” - Tobin said. 

 

“Bye Tobin, call me.” - Kate yelled. 

 

“Let’s go!” - Lauren yelled. 

 

As soon as Tobin was next to her, Lauren added, “You are so going to tell me everything right now.”

 

Alex flinched at the interactions, when she saw Tobin leave the bar the pain in her chest returned, but unfortunately she had something bigger to deal with. 

 

“Hey baby, how are you?” - Serv asked Alex, going for a kiss. 

 

Alex moved away so that Servando kissed her cheek. 

 

“What are you doing here?” - Alex asked back. 

 

“I came to see you, be with you Alex, you are my wife.” - Serv said, a little too possesive. 

 

“I know that, but I told you that tonight I wanted to be with the girls.” - Alex replied. 

 

“Alex, you are always with them. I have to share you almost all the time with the team, you are always traveling… I don’t see what the issue of me been here.” - Serv replied. 

 

Alex couldn’t take it anymore, she knew she was going to cause a scene and she could feel her emotions all over the place.

 

“I know, but this was something i wanted to do with them, just hem. We talked about it, sometimes I need space.” - Alex responded, a little bit more calmed. 

 

“Yeah, well, I don’t want space. Not anymore, I've already given you time Alex. You are my wife, it’s time you start acting like it. So I’m not leaving and neither do you without me.” - Serv let out, raising his voice. 

 

Luckily for Alex, Ash and Ali, heard it all and wanted to help the forward. 

 

“Alex, we just got a message from Dawn. We all need to be back at the hotel.” - Ash shouted.

 

In the meantime, Ali told Kelley what was happening with Serv and all the girls agreed to call it a night. It was late anyway. 

 

“Gotta go, see you tomorrow Serv.” - Alex replied coldly. 

 

“You are not even trying Alex, but we’ll talk tomorrow about this when you get home.” - Serv said. 

 

Alex just turned around and almost ran towards the door. Once back in the hotel, the girls went straight to their rooms. Alex and Kelley walked side by side until they reached Kelley’s room. 

 

“Can I?” - Alex asked.

 

“Of course.” - Kelley answered. 

 

Kelley opened the door and turned on the bathroom light not to disturb Tobin who was lying in her bed. 

 

Alex walked into the room and took off her heels. She sat next to Tobin sleepy figure and slowly caressed her hair, then she placed a gentle kiss on the midfielder’s forehead not caring about Kelley’s presence. 

 

“Alex?” - Tobin whispered. 

 

“Yes, Tobin, I’m here.” - Alex answered. 

 

“What are you doing here?” - Tobin asked back. 

 

“Just wanted to be with you Tobs. Can I stay?” - Alex asked, defeated, all her walls down. 

 

Tobin didn’t even reply, she got up and gave Alex some clothes for her to change. Alex did just that and joined Tobin, both girls went to sleep embracing each other. 

 

“Tobin, I’m ready.” - Alex whispered, softly, thinking Tobin was asleep. 

 

But Tobin was not, she heard her, but she was going to wait to see it happen because actions speak louder than words. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	3. Water Under the Bridge / River Lea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well the first warning is that this one and the next one will be angst, but then it will get better. 
> 
> The second warning is that Serv is a total in this fic. 
> 
> Hope you like it, next one is ready! Since i got a lot of time at work today. I just need to edit it so I'll probably post it later today or tomorrow morning. 
> 
> I really appreciate you taking the time to read this :)

**Water Under the Bridge / River Lea**

 

Alex woke up early in the morning, she took a quick look to her phone to check the hour. They still had a couple more to go before they had to meet the whole team at the lobby.

 

“Are you awake?” – Kelley asked, when she noticed Alex move.

 

“Yeah, just checking the time.” – Alex answered.

 

Alex placed her phone back on down and took a glimpse at Tobin, who was still asleep, her arms still around her.

 

“Damn it, Alex, you look so cute together. That girl loves you so much.” – Kelley said.

 

“I know, Kelley, I love her back…” – Alex replied.

 

“Then why aren’t you together?” – Kelley asked, intrigued.

 

“It’s complicated, but I’m going to make it right.” – Alex stated.

 

“You both deserve to be happy Alex.” – Kelley said, while getting up.

 

“Where are you going?” – Alex asked.

 

“Going for coffee with Hope since I can’t go back to sleep.” – Kelley answered, while getting dressed.

 

“Well, enjoy it.” – Alex said, laughing.

 

“Thank you, I’ll leave you two love birds alone.” – Kelley replied, making her way out of the room.

 

As soon as Kelley was out, Alex turned her attention to Tobin, she caressed her face and placed small kissed all over.

 

“Mmm” – Tobin whispered, pulling Alex closer.

 

Alex kept kissing Tobin until she finally reached her lips.

 

“Morning Babe.” – Alex let out, with that raspy voice of hers.

 

“A very good morning indeed, wish I could wake up like this every day.” – Tobin stated without opening her eyes.

 

“Me too, but it’s complicated.” – Alex replied.

 

“We need to talk.” – Tobin said, opening her eyes as she sat on the bed.

 

“I know, Tobin, I love you.” – Alex whispered.

 

“But not enough to leave your husband.” – Tobin replied.

 

“I’m working on it, I just need to be sure what I’m feeling before I break someone’s heart.” – Alex said.

 

“Alex, you are already breaking them, tell me if you are not the one for me then how come I can bring you to your knees.” – Tobin stated while she pulled Alex to her.

 

Slowly and carefully Tobin started kissing Alex’s neck.

 

“If you're not the one for me, why do I hate the idea of being free?” – Tobin added.

 

“You are mine, Tobin.” – Alex whispered, giving into Tobin’s touch and kisses.

 

“Look at me, we both know that is true but nothing is official and until then I’m free. So you gotta stop holding me the way you do.” – Tobin replied.

 

“I don’t want to stop this, us, Tobin. I just don’t know if you deserve to be with someone like me, maybe you need to find someone else.” – Alex let out, the pain in her chest grew as soon as she said those words.

 

“Oh honey, you are the one for me because if I'm not the one for you, then why have we been through what we have been through?  I want you to be my keeper but not if you are so reckless. I want you for myself only.” – Tobin said, kissing Alex passionately.

 

After a few kisses Alex stopped, her senses coming back to her. She knew she wanted to make this right so she need to stop fooling around.

 

Abruptly, Alex stood up, leaving Tobin alone on the bed without looking at her.

 

“You know, if you are going to let me down, let me down gently. Just don’t pretend that you don’t want me. ……. Our love ain’t water under the bridge.” – Tobin replied, hurt.

 

Alex finally looked up at Tobin and saw the pain in her brown eyes.

 

“I’m sorry Tobin, I just need to make this right.” – Alex said.

 

“What are you waiting for? You never seem to make it through the door. And who are you hiding from? Your fans will love you no matter what Alex, it ain't no life to live like you're on the run. Stay, here with me.” – Tobin responded.

 

“There is nothing more I want than to stay here with you, Tobin. I love you so much, I can’t give you up. I’m not strong enough, but please give me time, that’s all I ask. Please.” – Alex pleaded.

 

“I know and I will give you time, but It’s so cold out here without you. Tell me, have I ever asked for much? The only thing that I want is your love.” – Tobin said.

 

“I want that too, Tobin.” – Alex whispered.

 

“Then prove it, I want to keep you.” – Tobin challenged.

 

Alex couldn’t help it anymore, she walked towards Tobin and joined her on the bed. Gently she put her hands on the midfielder’s neck and closed the space between them.

 

“Lock the door.” – Alex whispered.

 

Tobin just nodded and jumped out of the bed to lock the door before making her way back towards Alex.

 

“Let me love you, right now.” – Alex added.

 

“Alex, I… I want you, but I know that in an hour you’ll be gone again.” – Tobin said.

 

“I need you, Tobin, please, let’s just focus on the moment.” – Alex pleaded.

 

“No, wait, I can’t Alex. No, I can’t go back to sharing you. I want to be without you, but I’m selfish, I want you just for me.” – Tobin let out.

 

“Will you wait Tobin?” – Alex asked.

 

“Yes, but sometimes I feel lonely in the arms of your touch and I’m scared to death if I let you in that you’ll end up not choosing me. So I don’t know how much I’ll be able to wait. ” – Tobin let out.

 

“Hey, look at me, I’ll never do anything to hurt you on purpose. And that is why I’m asking you for time, because I want to stop us from hurting.” – Alex said.

 

“I know, that is why I want to stay so bad, but every time you are not with me my mind sets off my imagination. Alex, I imagine you loving him and I can’t, it makes me even physically ill. I told Lauren about it, she tells me it’s about that I move on, you are married Alex… married and I just your lover. It’s hard, knowing all I do is ever enough to keep you from running to him and that I’m not your only one.”- Tobin replied, crying.

 

Alex brushed the tears away from Tobin’s cheeks as she let her own fall free.

 

“I need you to be strong, for me, for us. I won’t make you cry again, I promise.” – Alex stated.

 

“I know, I won’t cry again, I have no tears left besides… I can’t do this anymore. I need to get away, I need to get my ideas in place… I need to be strong.” Tobin whimpered.

 

Alex felt how slowly Tobin was pulling away, how she was losing the love of her life.

 

“I should probably tell you now before its way too late. I never meant to hurt you or lie straight to your face but I can’t keep it from you any longer. I leave for Paris, it’s a one way ticket, so no I’m not strong. Consider this my apology, but I'd rather say it now in case I never get the chance.” – Tobin responded.

 

Alex was speechless, involuntarily she started to cry harder.

 

Tobin holds her tight, she could feel her shirt getting wet from Alex’s tears, but she couldn’t care less about it.

 

“I’m sorry, I disappointed you over and over again.” – Alex whimpered.

 

Tobin didn’t respond anything, every time Alex made a decision like moving to Orlando to be with Serv her heart was full of disappointment. She didn’t believe Alex will leave him since she told her time and time again that she will but he is still in the picture.

 

Something clicked inside Alex, she knew exactly what she was going to do. As Tobin asked her, what was she waiting for? She had the answer in front of her all along.

 

Quickly, Alex removed herself from Tobin’s grip and made her way out the door without saying anything.

 

“I lost her.” – Tobin whispered.

* * *

“Wow, there Baby Horse, where are you going with such a hurry?” – Kelley asked.

 

“To get a divorce.” – Alex shouted.

As soon as Kelley entered the room, she noticed how heartbroken Tobin was.

 

“Hey, are you okay?” – Kelley asked, concerned, as she sat next to Tobin.

 

“No, I can’t do it anymore Kelley. It’s like I want her here with me with husband and all but then I don’t. I want her but I also want to move on…. I can’t go back to the way we were but I miss her. Usually I rather have her like that than not have her at all but lately the pain in my chest is too much. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat… I’m sure this uncertainty is killing me Kells. That is why I need to get away, because I don’t trust myself when I’m near her. I’m leaving for Paris, today.”- Tobin answered.

 

“Oh Tobin, I’m here for you. If you need to get away for a while I support. I even go with you for some time.” – Kelley stated, while hugging her friend.

 

It broke Kelley’s heart to see her best friends suffer like that for each other. Tobin needed her since she was falling apart, so she just holds her as if her life depended on it keeping what Alex said to herself. As Tobin did, Kelley heard Alex say that she’ll leave Serv many times before.

 

“Why don’t you take a shower so we can pack and get out of here?” – Kelley offered.

 

“Okay…” – Tobin whispered, slowly getting up.

* * *

“There you are! I was looking for you.” – Lauren said.

 

“Yeah, Tobin, don’t hide from your fellow new kids.” – Amy added.

 

“Sorry guys, I went for a walk with Kelley. Hey, have you seen Alex?” – Tobin asked.

 

“Nope, but look, here comes Servando.” Amy answered.

 

“Hey girls, I came to pick up Alex. Have you seen her?” – Serv asked.

 

“No, but she should be here soon since it’s almost time to reunite the whole team.” – Lauren answered, she took a look at Tobin who was looking anywhere but at Serv.

 

“How you been?” – Amy asked, trying to be polite when she noticed that Serv didn’t go away.

 

“Wonderful, I’m so happy. Alex called me this morning to pick her up, we are going to the doctor since we decided to try and have a kid. Hell, she might even be pregnant already, so I’m static to have a little Morgan-Carrasco baby in the future.” – Serv lied, looking at Tobin with a huge grin.

 

Tobin felt as if someone just punched her in the gut. Lauren noticed and decided to do something about it.

 

“Tobin, could you please come with me to the bathroom? I need your help with something.” – Lauren asked.

 

Tobin didn’t even respond just gave her a small nod so Lauren dragged Tobin towards the bathroom as she sent a text to Kelley to meet them there.

 

As soon as the door closed, Tobin lost it, she let anger control her emotions. She punched the wall several times as angry tears fell off her face.

 

“I’m done Lauren, I believed her. Just a moment ago I told her I won’t cry for her and look at me. I’m so weak.” – Tobin shouted.

 

“Tobin calm down…” – Lauren yelled, trying to control Tobin.

 

“Fuck her.” – Tobin said.

 

“Tobin Powell Heath, why are you swearing?” – Kelley said, but then shut up once she noticed Tobin’s stance.

 

“What happened?” – Kelley added.

 

“You want to know what happened?! Alex happened, freaking Alex and her lies. I can’t believe she played with me over and over again. I’m done.” – Tobin yelled, punching the wall once again.

 

“Tobin, stop it!!! Kelley help me.” – Lauren shouted, while trying to calm Tobin down.

 

“Tobin, look at us… calm down. You are better than this, I know you are angry and upset, but you need to control yourself. Look at what you did to your hand.” – Kelley ordered.

 

Tobin looked at her hand, the pain she felt there was nothing with what she felt in her heart.

 

“Deep breathes…come on. Breathe In. Breathe Out.” – Lauren instructed.

 

Tobin did just as Lauren said and she could feel herself regaining control of her emotions.

 

“I’m taking you to the trainers. Kelley make sure to keep Alex away.” – Lauren said.

 

“Why? What happened? Sorry, but I need to know what I’m dealing with.” – Kelley replied.

 

“Alex called Serv in the morning to pick her up because they are going to the doctor, she might be pregnant or is going to try to.” – Lauren answered.

 

“That’s right a little baby Carrasco. I’m such a fool, I hate myself. I just want the pain to go away, I want to forget.” – Tobin added.

 

“You want to forget Alex? Really Tobin?” – Kelley questioned.

 

“Yes…I’m done.” – Tobin stated, firmly.

 

“Oh Tobin, let’s just go to the trainers so we can be there when they tells us the final instructions then Paris.” Lauren replied.

 

“Paris…” – Tobin whispered.


	4. Love in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys like this? Haha i just want to know if im on the right path. 
> 
> No more sad chapter after this one... hint: Next song is Adele's 2nd single from 25. 
> 
> Thanks again!

**Love in the Dark**

Alex made her way to lobby, she was going to be 5 minutes late since she spent the rest of the morning talking to her lawyer while she packed.

 

Once there she started looking for Tobin but couldn’t find her anywhere. She was distracted trying to spot at least one of the new kids to ask her where Tobin was when she felt a pair of arms hugged her from behind.

 

“Hey babe.” – Servando greeted.

 

Alex quickly pushed him off her.

 

“What are you doing here?” Alex asked, angry.

 

“I came to pick you up. Like I said yesterday, you are my wife and it’s time you start acting like one.” – Serv said.

 

“You don’t get it do you…we’ll talk about it later. There is something more important that I need to do right now.” – Alex replied.

 

“What, find Tobin? Don’t worry, that dyke won’t bother you anymore.” – Serv let out.

 

Alex turned around and slapped him, not caring about the whole team watching. Serv grabbed Alex roughly and was about to slap her back when Abby interfere.

 

“You should go now.” – Abby ordered.

 

“You can’t tell me what to do with my wife.” – Serv said.

 

“Yes, we can. She doesn’t want to be with you so get going.” – Ash added, backing Abby up along with Hope.

 

“You’ll regret this when you get home.” – Serv threated.

 

“I won’t go back with you, never again. I want a di….” – Alex said but was interrupted by Jill.

 

“Okay, girls, thank you for waiting please follow me to the meeting room at the end of the hall.” – Jill ordered.

 

All the girls walked to the meeting room. Alex spotted Kelley and ran to her side without looking back at Serv.

 

“Kelley, have you seen Tobin? I need to talk to her.” – Alex asked.

 

“Yes, but I can’t let you near her Alex. She is broken, she told me you were getting a divorce. You forgot to mention you were pregnant or trying to be.” – Kelley let out,  a little bit angry at her best friend for hurting Tobin.

 

“What?! How…” – Alex asked, but again she was interrupted by Jill.

 

“Okay, ladies. Well, thank you all for giving your all in our friendly match. Dawn will give each of you a folder with diets and different routines you need to follow since we  won’t be meeting again in at least a month because of the holidays. Take care of yourselves and eat healthy.” – Jill instructed.

 

Alex didn’t hear a word Jill said, her mind was racing trying to spot Tobin. When she finally did, her heart broke at the sight. Tobin had her snapback on but she kept looking down, she noticed that her left wrist was taped and that Lauren was hugging her.

 

_ What happened?! What did Servando do?  _ Alex asked herself.

 

Once Jill dismissed them, all the girls checked the shuttle schedule for the airport. They were put into groups depending on their destination. Alex had booked a flight back to California to be with her family, therefore she will fly out with Press and Kelley.

 

Alex quickly checked the schedule, once done, she made her way towards Tobin.

 

“Alex, no, give her space.” – Kelley said, holding the forward’s arm.

 

“I can’t, I need to talk to her Kelley. Please” – Alex pleaded.

 

Kelley let go and Alex made her way towards Tobin. The meeting room was almost empty, the only ones left were Kelley, Hope, Ash, Ali, Lauren and Tobin.

 

“Alex, right now is not a good time.” – Lauren stated.

 

“Tobin? What happened? Please talk to me.” – Alex said.

 

Tobin didn’t even look up, she kept looking down, trying to control her emotions.

 

Alex noticed how bad Tobin looked, her face was expressionless and seemed heartbroken.

 

“Tobin?” Lauren asked, shaking her friend a little.

 

“Give me a minute with Alex, I won’t be long.” – Tobin instructed, without looking up.

 

“Okay, I’ll be waiting for you outside.” – Lauren said, then made her way towards the other girls.

 

Alex saw how Lauren told them something, before they made their way towards the door. Finally, she was alone with Tobin, she approached the midfielder and sat down  next to her.

 

“It’s always going to be like this, isn’t it?” – Tobin asked.

 

“Like what Tobs?” Alex asked back.

 

“Me expecting something from you… something I you are not going to be able to give. I can’t do this anymore Alex, I can’t stay here and watch you have a baby with Serv. I thought this morning you asked me to wait for you, wait for what… Your 9 months to be up, that’s sick.” – Tobin let out.

 

“What are you talking about?” – Alex questioned, really confused.

 

“Oh, stop laying, Servando already told us you are trying to have a kid or maybe you are pregnant already.” – Tobin answered.

 

“What?! Tobin that is not true, we haven't even slept in the same bed in a while.” – Alex replied.

 

“How can I know that Alex, you won’t leave him for whatever reason. NO… scratch that, you won’t leave him, but you don’t want to.” – Tobin responded.

 

“I do want to, I want to be with you.”- Alex whimpered.

 

“Yeah, I’ve heard that before, more than once and still here we are.” – Tobin said.

 

Alex kept crying, she tried to get closer to Tobin but the midfielder abruptly stood up.

 

Tobin knew that for her mental and physical health that she needed to stop this. She looked straight at Alex’s blue eyes before speaking…

 

“Take your eyes off of me so I can leave. I'm far too ashamed to do it with you watching me. Alex you know that this is never ending, we have been here before, but I can't stay this time cause I don't love you anymore.” – Tobin said.

 

“What? You don’t love me?” – Alex asked, shocked.

 

“No, because I can’t love you in the dark. It feels like we're oceans apart, there is so much space between us. Maybe we're already defeated, maybe this wasn’t meant to be.” – Tobin answered, her heart breaking at every word.

 

Alex couldn’t take that for an answer.

 

“Are you sure, look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me Tobin.” – Alex demanded, heartbroken.

 

“Damn it, I love you alright. You have given me something that I can't live without. You mustn't underestimate that when you are in doubt, but I don't want to carry on like everything is fine. The longer we ignore it all the more that we will fight.”

 

“Then let’s make it fine, please Tobin. I love you, stay with me. You are all I need.” – Alex pleaded.

 

Tobin could see how miserable Alex look, she totally understood how the forward felt because she felt it too.

 

“Alex, please don’t fall apart. I can’t face your breaking heart, don’t you see I’m trying to be brave. I’m making this easy for you, you won’t have to make a decision anymore, so please stop asking me to stay.” – Tobin said.

 

“Tobin why are you doing this?” Alex asked, barely keeping it together.

 

“Because we’re not the only ones in this relationship. I want you to know that I don’t regret a thing, every word I’ve said you know I’ll always mean. It is the world to me that you are in my life, but I want to live and not just survive…”- Tobin let out, her voice breaking.

 

“Tobin…I need you. Stay, I’ll be better.” – Alex replied, getting closer to Tobin. She craved the midfielder’s touch.

 

“Alex please stay where you are. Don’t come any closer. Don’t try to change my mind. I’m being cruel to be kind. I’m setting you free from me… Go live your life, go have your kid, go be his wife.” – Tobin shouted almost losing it again.

 

Tobin was about to lose it again, she took a look at her left hand and felt the pain. The trainers told her it might be broken so she needed to take some X-Rays as soon as possible, but she decided to do that in Paris.

 

Alex noticed Tobin closed her eyes and let the pain in.

 

“Tobin, what happened to your hand?” – Alex asked.

 

“I punched a wall several times, see I don’t even know who I am anymore.” – Tobin answered.

 

“Tobin…please…” – Alex said, reaching towards the midfielder, as she was about to touch a scared puppy for the first time.

 

This time, Tobin let her touched her. She didn’t flinch when Alex placed her hands on her face.

 

Roughly, with her right hand, Tobin grabbed Alex by the shirt and pulled her to her.

 

“Everything changed me and I don’t think you can save me.” – Tobin whispered, in Alex’s ear before kissing her passionately.

 

Alex kissed her back, with tears running down her cheeks. Every word Tobin said was like a knife to her heart, but she knew Tobin was hurting and she automatically felt guilty.

 

They both lost track of time, they just stood there enjoying their kissed before Lauren interrupted them.

 

“Tobin, sorry, your van is about to leave.” – Lauren shouted.

 

“Don’t go.” – Alex whispered.

 

“I’m sorry.” – Tobin replied, giving Alex once last kiss, her eyes full of tears.

 

When the kiss ended, Tobin let out a sigh and turned around towards the door.

 

Alex saw the love of her life go, when Tobin was out of sight she collapsed to the floor as she cried hysterically.

 

“Hey, Alex, I’m here for you.” – Kelley said, running to her friend and slowly caressing her back.

 

“We are here for you too.” – Ash said while she holds Ali’s hand.

 

“I lost her, gosh, I’m such an idiot.” – Alex whimpered.

 

“Alex, not everything is lost. It’s your turn to fight for her as she has fought for you all these years.” – Lauren added.

 

“Really?” – Alex asked, leaning into Kelley.

 

“Yes, she will never stop loving you, but she won’t be back to see you with your husband.” – Lauren answered.

 

“You are right, I talked to my lawyer early in the morning. He is getting everything ready to file for divorce as soon as possible.” – Alex confessed.

 

“What?! Wow, that is great Alex! I mean sad, but he is a douche so I’m happy about it.” – Ash said.

 

“Ash!”- Ali shouted, punching Ali.

 

“What?! It’s the truth, no one liked him.” – Ash stated.

 

“True, now what are we going to do? You are not alone on this, baby horse, we’ll help you.” – Kelley added.

 

“I’m going to give Tobin time, I hate to say it, but Paris will do her good. I need to approach her when the divorce, it’s on track. That way I won’t let her down, she’ll know 

 

"I choose her for good. Just help me by making sure that she is okay and that she knows that I’m fighting for her, that I love her and I want her forever.” – Alex let out.

 

“Count on us, we’ll help you fix this.” – Ali replied.

 

“Now, let’s go finish this business.” – Lauren added.

 

“Yes, just give me a second. Please.” – Alex said.

 

“Of course, we’ll be waiting for you outside.” – Kelley responded, hugging her friend.

 

When Alex was alone, she let a few more tears out and put herself together, she knew she had two battles. One with Serv and the other one for Tobin, she needed to be ready.

 

Alex quickly pulled out her phone and send a quick text…

* * *

Tobin’s way to the airport was horrible, she put on her sunglasses and headphones so she could hide from everyone.

 

When she got to the airport, she made her way to her gate and couldn’t help thinking about Paris. Suddenly her phone vibrated and she checked it without thinking.

 

**Babe Horse <3: I’ll finally make this right Tobs, once everything is on track I’ll make you feel my love. I promise I will make you happy, make your dreams come true. I’ll give you your space, but I’m ready to fight for you because you are wrong… I CAN save you, us. I LOVE YOU with all my heart, never forget that.**

 

  
_ Thank you Alex, for fighting for us.  _ Tobin thought. 

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is sad, but remember I like happy endings and I have Sweetest Devotion in there haha.


End file.
